Reel vs. real therapy: part iii

We are back with a loving-critical exploration of the reel therapy portrayed in Dear Zindagi with Kaira, a cis-female in her 20s, and Dr. Jehangir Khan (Jug), her therapist.

The protagonist, Kaira, experiences issues with her parents, intimate relationships, and her sleep. She is avoidant, sometimes aggressive, and does not experience feelings fully. She also has abandonment scars from her childhood.

This movie needs to be given credit for opening up conversations around mental health, therapy, and healing in the popular discourse in India. It does capture some aspects of therapy beautifully, while some aspects are problematic.

Let's get past the problematic stuff first, shall we? One of the winners in the problems category is how the movie shows therapeutic boundaries and ethical considerations like privacy and confidentiality. Therapeutic boundaries are a major factor that sets therapy apart from other forms of relationships, which the psychologist Dr. Jug, charmingly trespasses in the name of being unconventional.

There is a reason why real-life therapy doesn’t happen in outdoor settings. Confidentiality and privacy are highly valued ethical guidelines. Outdoor therapy sessions on a ferry or a beach, as shown in the movie, leave the client and their story exposed to the world, which may not enable them to experience a sense of safety. In a highly unregulated therapy space, like in our country, you need to know that as a client, you have a right to privacy and confidentiality. Confidentiality means that your sharing remains between you and your therapist and is not discussed with any other person/organization, without your consent. The only times when confidentiality is breached is when the person poses an imminent risk to their own or another’s life when the therapist takes supervision for their work (identifying details like name, location, workplace, etc are not shared), and when there is a legal order to share the therapy notes. Even when one is a minor, privacy and confidentiality are upheld while the caregivers are kept informed broadly about what’s happening in the process. All these ethical guidelines also apply to online therapy. For example, you as a client, have the right to ask your therapist to show the room they are joining your online session from, to make sure that they are in a private space. If you are ever asked to come to a cafe for your therapy session, you now know that you must run the other way!

Dr. Jug also cancels a therapy session at the last minute, only informing the client with a simple note after she reaches the therapy space. While therapists do cancel sessions in real life, they let their clients know much in advance other than in emergencies. If it happens multiple times, therapists usually bring it into the session space to discuss their situation and as a client, you could always bring it up with them too.

The therapist in the movie suddenly springs upon Kaira that the next session will be the last one. In real therapy, the end of sessions is discussed much before the closure session happens and is a mutual decision by the therapist and the client. The process is reviewed, the feelings around ending sessions are given space to be aired and only then therapy is closed. So, Dr. Jug’s abrupt termination with Kaira is uncalled for and can be potentially harmful as she may perceive it as abandonment, due to her history.

Kaira's feelings of romantic love for her therapist are addressed only toward the end of the therapy process. In real therapy, how the client feels towards the therapist is regularly and actively explored. The way Dr. Jug responds to Kaira expressing her love for him is appreciable though. He respects her expression and explains how this feeling is nothing to be ashamed of and how it could be influenced by the vulnerable connection that the therapy space nurtures. This aspect of his response does reflect a real therapy scenario.

Another mis-portrayal is how Dr. Jug’s words of wisdom quickly changed Kaira’s life. In real therapy settings, the therapist acts as a facilitator, a catalyst, and a companion who enables the clients to reach their answers from their experiences and wisdom. In real therapy, movement is non-linear, which means, a client may feel differently and make some changes, and may also shift back to old patterns during times of stress or in certain areas of life. Healing is non-linear and many times, moving from an insight in the therapy session to acting on it in life is a journey unto itself.

The movie beautifully captures the use of metaphors and stories to enable Kaira to explore different perspectives than her own and engage in possibilities. The way he creates a safe space by engaging with her story of “her friend” going through problems that in fact, she herself was experiencing, how he doesn’t shame her for so-called lying and remains curious and open to building safety, is well-captured. Humour in the therapy space is also sensitively depicted in the movie and we’d end with one of the best parts - the uber-cool therapy room! Now that may not always be seen in a real-therapy setting.